Noots Letter: 🎀 NEW DOLLY 🎀
SPECIAL XXXTRA EDITION - November 2023
I interrupt your Friday evening to alert you to Dolly Parton’s latest release, Rockstar.
As you may recall, Dolly Parton was nominated to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and initially declined because she felt she had not “earned that right”. Which is absolutely ridiculous because Dolly Parton has sewn the fabric of many types of popular music. She also plays guitar incredibly well, even with gigantic acrylic nails. Name another grown man who can do this, or even make sense of it. And what is “rock” really, seeing as now Olivia Rodrigo is up for a Grammy in the genre (grown men soo upset about this rn).
All to say, Dolly Parton subsequently decided to release a rock record called, aptly, Rockstar. She announced this on January 17, 2023. It is now November 17, 2023. Throughout the past 10 months, the promo for this has been beyond phenomenal. Dolly Parton, clad in leather and fishnets, laying in silk sheets, tits agelessly defying gravity. Dolly Parton, as if she stepped out of Folsom Street Fair with a bedazzled eye patch and platform boots that make my not-even-30-year-old feet scream out in plantar fasciitis. May I remind you Dolly Parton is 77 years old. Mother. GRANDmother, even.
Take heed of this moment, this radical transformation, because in this moment Dolly Parton is saying “Hopelessly devoted” Sandy’s transformation into “Meditate your affection / feel your way” baddie Sandy. Dolly Parton is Rachel Berry in Glee singing “Barracuda” at NYADA. Dolly Parton is really giving weight to all those rumors about her tattoos. Dolly Parton is Cady Heron joining The Plastics and Emma Stone’s character in Easy A sewing a red letter on her corset. Dolly Parton is me in high school, wearing pearls and a pink polo shirt, covering “Whole Lotta Love” in my neighbor’s classic rock band for the school talent show. Dolly Parton is also me literally last year trading in my musical theatre training for 150 days singing in the Rolling Stone Rock Room onboard a cruise ship. Dolly Parton is embodying what Cobra Starship meant in 2009 when they said “Make them good girls go bad,” and it only took 60 years into her career for her to embrace this side. Growth!
Let’s talk about this tracklist, because it is THIRTY songs and, by God, what a range! We start off with two originals, beginning with “Rockstar”. The very first 30 seconds of the record features a dramatized argument between young (?) Dolly Parton & her parents about practicing her rock n’ roll training. The very first words she whisper-sings are “Rockstar”, causing my bones to unequivocally rattle. She’s 77 and screlting. Richie Sambora’s guitar riffs are absolutely ripping. Simply put, the song slaps. This is true camp. I could cry.
“World on Fire” feels a bit like a Bon Jovi tune, but we’ll let it slide. She does more directly reference the one area she’s famously skirted around–politics. “How are we to live in a world like this / greedy politicians, present and past” begs the question, is Miss Parton touting anarchy?? “How do we heal this great divide?” Ma’am, famously, you.
Then we jump to two of the most iconic ballads of all time, “Every Breath You Take" (feat. Sting) and "Open Arms" (feat. Steve Perry). I’m including the “feat.” because it’s iconic that she is simply covering these, karaoke style, no changes whatsoever other than maybe key, alongside the original artist: a true homage!
Then we shift to “Magic Man”--PARENTHESES “CARL VERSION”. This woman has been married to this hometown guy named Carl for half a century, and she still finds him hot enough to refer to him as the Magic Man with the magic hands now, mama. Obsessed!
She takes a more soulful turn on "Long as I Can See the Light" (feat. John Fogerty), which kind of feels like a Christmas tune to me? Things get a bit questionable when she does a duet with human trash can Kid Rock on "Either Or". And not even his popular one, “All Summer Long”?? Alas, you’ll have to wait a bit longer for the Lynyrd Skynyrd homage.
This is followed by "I Want You Back" (feat. Steven Tyler), and while I scoured the internet to learn who wrote this, it appears to be an original. Could someone who knows about rock classics please confirm or deny?
Now "What Has Rock And Roll Ever Done For You" (feat. Stevie Nicks) has some intriguing lore: the song was written by Stevie decades ago, but it was never recorded professionally. But it’s apparently about Stevie’s affair with someone “rich and famous” (quelle surprise!).
Then we have all 8 American minutes "Purple Rain", which I’m glad to announce did not feature the posthumous AI vocals of Prince. I actually enjoy her rendition a lot. It feels like the “I Will Always Love You” effect, where part of me wouldn’t be surprised if she randomly wrote this years ago. Then, it’s time for your parents to continue slow-dancing with “Baby, I Love Your Way” (feat. Peter Frampton).
STRAP IN because there’s a freaking VIGNETTE at the top of "I Hate Myself for Loving You" with Joan Jett & the Blackhearts. Dolly loves a dramatic moment. A theatre girly at heart! Anyways this song is so hot. Also Joan Jett is still so hot? Was anyone aware of this?? Wake up!
"Night Moves" has become a big Dad Rock favorite of mine, and I was thrilled to hear Mr. Warm As A Glass Of Brandy, Chris Stapleton, on the track. These lyrical changes are so pure: “I was a little too tall small, could've used a few pounds / Tight pants skirts, points, hardly renowned / She was a black-haired beauty He was a handsome devil with big dark mischief in his eyes / And points of her own, sittin' way up high Together we filled a void in our lives.” On that note, she pretty ardently changes pronouns in all of these songs, thus quashing the bisexuality rumors. Sigh.
Never before thought of "Wrecking Ball" as rock, but I love that Dolly Parton loves her Miley Cyrus. Such a fun little Easter egg there at the end as well. Keeping in line with the 21st century: singing "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" not with Mick Jagger, but with P!nk and Brandi Carlile? This is tremendous. They actually rid the world of the patriarchy in that moment.
We are in only just now on the second half of the record, folks! "Keep On Loving You" (feat. Kevin Cronin) is cheesy as ever. This should have always been a duet, and I’ll stand by that. "Heart of Glass" (feat. Debbie Harry) is kind of a brilliant choice because goddaughter Miley just released an incredible gritty version a few years ago.
In "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me”, Elton John’s voice threw me—btw he announced just today that he is on the music team for the upcoming Tammy Faye Bakker Broadway musical. Speaking of which, are we all aware that Dolly Parton had a reading for her biographical musical this spring? And I wasn’t in the room? Hurling. The next track, "Tried to Rock and Roll Me", features Melissa Etheridge, who is conveniently also on Broadway right now.
A real life text from my mother. ^^
Next: not so sure about choosing Lizzo for "Stairway to Heaven," but I guess there aren’t too many other famous flautists? Ugh this song is so long and for what. Then, "We Are the Champions"/ “We Will Rock You” are perhaps two of my lesser favorite Queen songs, thanks to the frequency with which they are played at high school football games. The next are two songs I don’t know, "Bygones" feat. Rob Halford of Judas Priest (this is WILD) and "My Blue Tears" feat. Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran (this one is a little odd). Idk either, sorry to these men.
We then have the world’s best karaoke song, "What's Up", made even better by the fact that it is now a duet—I will be dragging you up onstage to sing this with me, you know who you are. Obsessed with the way she changed “twenty-six years” to “all of these years”. I guess “seventy-seven years” doesn’t really fit the syllable scheme.
"You're No Good" feat. Emmylou Harris & Sheryl Crow is a great new addition to memes that are like “This is my Boygenius”, as well as a step forward in the fight to give Sheryl Crow the recognition she deserves. She was only just inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame a few weeks ago! IMO, this is smelling like something that rhymes with shmisogyny! OMG and it’s promptly followed by one of the greatest ever, "Heartbreaker" feat. Pat Benatar and her hot amazing guitarist husband Neil Giraldo. The dream team of three!
"Bittersweet" is challenging to listen to seriously because Michael McDonald’s voice is a meme in itself. "I Dreamed About Elvis" (feat. Ronnie McDowell) is similarly unserious—my understanding is that this man is an Elvis vocal impersonator? Or perhaps the real Elvis??
Although they more recently made headlines as mediocre album cover selectors, Paul McCartney & Ringo Starr make a special appearance on "Let it Be", the penultimate track. It’s a wholesome resolution to the turmoil she references in the earlier “World On Fire” number. And of course, she closes it out with none other than the song I thought I discovered in high school, "Free Bird" (feat. Ronnie Van Zant). All eleven minutes, complete with dynamic shifts, key shifts, and a full choir of background vocals.
Whew. What a marathon. This is all to say there’s nothing this woman can’t do. And that women, of any age, can’t do. I love Dolly Parton, and I love her even more today. Happy listening, rockstars.
For more Dolly Parton content, try Dolly Parton’s America by Jad Abumrad and WNYC, “The Dolly Moment” by Tressie McMillan Cottom, and “The Radical Queerness of Dolly Parton” by Cory Albertson of Bitter Southerner.