Itâs Bey Day! The sun is shining, Cowboy Carter is out!Â
I spent a minimum of 6 hours listening to this album today, reading every article and Reddit thread I could find, and noting my every coherent thought. While Marchâs general newsletter is coming in a few days, this one is a BeyoncĂ© special. As such, itâs a great day to know that if youâre on a Mac computer, you have to hold down the âeâ and type â2â to produce her signature accent aigu (itâs Creole).Â
I havenât felt this level of personal hype around such a mainstream album in some time, but I also want to note that hype-time itself has been so limited. A mere 47 days! And yet the publicity images and commentary she has bestowed upon us in a mere month and a half is, simply, legendary. However, we are missing one major announcement so far, which is when the red, white, and blue latex assless chaps fashion line is dropping??
âThis album has been over five years in the making. It was born out of an experience that I had years ago where I did not feel welcomedâŠand it was very clear that I wasnât. But, because of that experience, I did a deeper dive into the history of Country music and studied our rich musical archive. It feels good to see how music can unite so many people around the world, while also amplifying the voices of some of the people who have dedicated so much of their lives educating on our musical history.â
AMERIICAN REQUIEM: Yep and I started crying around the 45 second mark. I can say without a doubt that this is one of the best album openers Iâve ever heard. You could teach a class on this song alone. The album could be this song alone and I would be satisfied. It instantly captures the vastness of its subject matter, and pays homage to gospel and classic rock predecessors in addition to country. It also bears resemblance to âFor What Itâs Worthâ by Buffalo Springfield, another iconic protest song.
BLACKBIRD: I feel like itâs been said that a truly successful cover should 1) honor the original 2) bring something new to the song. This is such a straightforward cover that is still distinctly her own. Loving the backstory here, as well as the features by Tanner Adell (who manifested this a mere 47 days ago), Brittney Spencer, Reyna Roberts and Tiera Kennedyâthey seem simply agog and aghast to be here, which is so sweetie. Also I had to Google the source of the click (Paulâs foot on the original, maybe Paulâs foot in this too), because I thought BeyoncĂ© somehow made metronomes listenable. Girlies better start practicing their riffs, because weâre just getting started.
16 CARRIAGES: I think this is one of those big songs I will never tire of. It is still hitting on like Round 36 today. Also can we circle back to the fact that she dropped this during the Super Bowl? Do you know how close I was to not watching that damn program? Would I ever have forgiven myself if I had missed it? Sometimes God is good.
PROTECTOR: Shut up. Crying. Not the wuwwaby!!! Come onnnnn. Also, the way she sings about being a projectorâŠI feel like sheâs being real about nepotism. Like her offspring are going to be multihyphenates, we know this! This isnât like some Dakota Johnson ass nepo baby territory, this is freaking Canonical American Songbook lineage. So here BeyoncĂ©âs like yeah sure Iâll give you feature credits as toddlers, but also youâre going to be naturally talented yourselves. Go fly. Love that.
MY ROSE: Feels like an outro for the previous song, and what I would venture to call, pretentiously, chamber folk at moments! Yâall hearing those harmonics??
SMOKE HOUR â WILLIE NELSON: This is so funny to me that Pappy is just hanging out here. Willie, who was just cited as readying his 152nd album (insane, chill out), scans through Son Houseâs âDonât You Mind People Grinnin' In Your Face," Sister Rosetta Tharpeâs âDown by the River Side,â Chuck Berryâs âMaybellene,â and Roy Hamiltonâs âDonât Let Goâ. And he says the c-word, basically, hehe.
TEXAS HOLD âEM: It should be noted that I was in Texas this weekend for the first time in my little life, and it really was a boogie and a hoedown, can confirm. Shouting from the rooftops once again that North Carolina gem Rhiannon Giddens is at the top on banjo and throughout on fiddle (check out who else is featured throughout Cowboy Carter here). Shoutout to the Franklin-truthers who claimed this track copied the theme song of Franklin (an animated childrenâs TV show) ((if youâre still thinking of this song as an adult whatâs wrong with you)).
BODYGUARD: Initially I was hoping there would be some kind of relation to Ms. Houston here, seeing as I was just streaming âI Will Always Love Youâ (both Dolly and Whitneyâs versions) last week. But my first impression was that its laidback vibe sounds a bit more like âif youâll be my bodyguardâ from Paul Simonâs âYou Can Call Me Alâ. Furthermore, the line about âwheels in the gravelâ brough Lucinda Williams to mind. The folks on Genius (WHO WERE NOT WORKING FAST ENOUGH THIS MORNING MIGHT I ADD) said Taylor Swift has been speculated to have done these vocals for the Ahâs on this track. There is also speculation that BeyoncĂ© will be on Taylorâs upcoming album, which I will not be writing a Special XXXtra Edition Noots Letter for. Regardless of all of this digging, one thingâs for certain: Mrs. Knowles-Carter looooves a backseat.
DOLLY P: IâM SCREAMING. Like we knew this, because the old woman let it slip, but still! Her use of the word âhussieâ...jesus christ. Real fans will also remember that âHoney Bee: was the name of BeyoncĂ©'s character in the âTelephoneâ video. Donât worry, Iâll get to Gaga in a second. **
JOLENE: This is sO rich obviously because of the affair allegations. Can you even imagine another woman having the audacity to try to compete with Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter? I hope that woman is quaking right now, I hope she has lost her ability to hear music because my goodness. I am howling. She really said what she said on this track. She damn near called Jolene a tumbleweed. Truth be told, I was going to send this email out this morning, but I decided to wait in order to collect the relevant memes. Here you go.
DAUGHTER: No because the Italian Aria..? Vocal Performance majors understand! Going back to my voice studio roots and doing a full translation on Caro Mio Ben right now: itâs about a heart withering without love. Oof. This is an obvious nod to âDaddy Lessonsâ and also somewhat giving Catholic guilt (do note she was raised Methodist according to Wikpedia). Not only did we have a song about âRoseâ, but this one references âthe Titanicâ?? What does it all mean????Â
SPAGHETTII: Lyrically, this is another that is so complex and therefore needs to be studied by scholars. Thereâs so much going on here: pioneer Linda Martellâs introduction. Shaboozeyâs incredible one-liner, âThat BeyoncĂ© Virgo shitâ. Sampling DJ Mandrakeâs Brazilian funk beats from âAquecimento â Vem Vem Vai Vai.â Most importantly, I was thrust into another dimension when I heard the line âC*nty, country, petty, petty, petty / All the same to me, Plain Jane, spaghetti.â THE POETRY IN THIS TURN OF PHRASE?!??!?! Â
**I canât continue without the theory of a new Gaga/Bey duet put forth by the Instagram stories of @OfficialSeanPenn, very haphazardly featured below.
âGenres are a funny little concept, arenât they? Yes, they are,â she says. âIn theory, they have a simple definition thatâs easy to understand. But in practice, well, some may feel confined.â
ALLIIGATOR TEARS: Â Can I just say I love the continuity of the double II throughout all of these titles? The lady doth commit to the theme. Really love this guitar in the intro and its âWanted Dead or Aliveâ vibe. I donât have any support for this but Iâm vaguely getting Alanis Morissetteâs Jagged Little Pill (âMary Janeâ or âPerfectâ??) in the chords.
SMOKE HOUR II: This old guy again! He cracks me right up.
JUST FOR FUN: Oops Iâm sad againâŠnot really fun at all ha ha⊠What is fun, however, is this deep alto vocal in the intro! As weâve seen on previous tracks, while she could have anyone she wanted on this album, the people she highlights most are people who are not yet but should be household names (and Willie Jones will be as a result of this release). Also whatâs this noise in the background on the chorus/Willieâs verse? Spoon in a teacup stirring sugar? Another clue???
II MOST WANTED: Okay âLandslideâ homage! The growl on âshotgunâ omg. While I do wish The Chicks had a feature on this album, I guess they do with âDaddy Lessonsâ, and some might even say they partially inspired the album. No disrespect, but I also wish Miley could have thrown in a little âHoedown Throwdownâ here⊠Iâll be waiting for the deluxe version.
LEVIIâS JEANS: It was the Gasp Heard Round The World that I gusped when she said âLet you be my Leviâs jeans / So you can hug that ass all day longâ. Finally, a line to rival âYou lookinâ good in them jeans / Bet you look even better with me in betweenâ (Ludacris, 2006)! Post Maloneâs unfortunate appearance on this track does beg the question, where did this musty man come from and how did he get so lucky in life? I do have questions about whether or not this was an ad placement, but today I am very proud of my brand loyalty to Leviâs jeans.
FLAMENCO: My favorite thing is when rich people intentionally release more unpolished tracks. Like itâs such a distinct choice. I love the authentic guitar and raw untouched vocals here. It brings up a topic touched on in this article: while Renaissance was made for dancing and celebration, this record allows BeyoncĂ© to lean into the deeper emotion and sorrow that is so emblematic of country.Â
THE LINDA MARTELL SHOW: I want her to have a full song, but thankfully I have 1970âs Color Me Country to fall back upon. Highly recommend.
YA YA: And in this very moment, I realized I will need to start saving my pennies for a Cowboy Carter concert ticket. This track is immediately my favorite on the record. I shanât be taking arguments at this time, nor are there any because I am just stating facts. I also realized that this is how middle aged white men feel when they hear the second half of Lynyrd Skynyrdâs âFree Birdâ. It made me want to toss my body around jubilantly in a room full of other bodies (some folks call this dancing). Weâve got references to âGood Vibrations,â âThese Boots Were Made for Walkinâ,â and sources also say it captures the build of Tina Turnerâs âRiver Deep, Mountain High.â And that, folks, is what you call a triple threat.Â
OH LOUISIANA: I do currently have my Spotify on the âfadeâ setting where one track bleeds into the next, but I think even with that switched on, Mrs. BeyoncĂ© Giselle knows how to make a true album, where one song leads so perfectly into the next. What I wonder is if TikTok has influenced this audio: not only is Chuck Berryâs 1971 âOh Louisianaâ track sped up (classic Gen Z behavior), but the eagle sound effectâis this the same one on those American-themed TikToks?
DESERT EAGLE: Hello what is the name of the individual on bass, thanks. While I assumed Thundercat (âThem Changesâ) here, others say bass is maybe an homage to âTell Me Something Goodâ (Chaka Khan, Rufus). Several publications have cited this track as a member of the distinct category âsex bopâ that BeyoncĂ© is known for. Too short IMO!Â
RIIVERDANCEÂ Caaaaaan we just note the amount of genres she has referenced on this album? Itâs almost as if the South is not a homogenous unit as so often depicted, but rather a multitudinous landscape of rich variation? Hm. Some folks are calling this a country line dance-disco hybridâa first of its kind. Please forward me vids of people dancing to this.
II HANDS II HEAVEN Uggghhh again this otherworldly transition. Weird, Iâm randomly considering a new arc for my life where I believe in God again. Or maybe just true love.Â
TYRANT Hi Dolly! This song is⊠hot. And famously not marked as explicit, as I discovered while listening with the child I babysit. Around 03:17, Beyoncé was so close to saying Dimmedome, as in Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome.
SWEET â HONEY â BUCKIINâ Yeah okay sure Iâll take immediate club hit. And one that starts with Patsy Clineâs âI Fall To Piecesâ? Iâm shaking my butt and Iâm hungry (Ă la âJiffy cornbread, booty corn-fedâ)!!! Apparently Pharrell is also on this track, because of course he is. And when she says âAOTYâ? Damn right.
AMEN: By this point, I was not ready for it to be over. And Iâm also not ready for whatever this full gospel laden song is about to be. Perfect in the way it brings us back to AMERIICAN REQUIEMâwe loooove a full circle moment. The big question mark for me comes at the very end: we hear the same sound at the end of âBlackbirdâ, which resembles kind of a ârecordingâ button sound. What does it mean? Fingers crossed for the visual album soon, so we can all find out. đ€